Learning to ask What not Why

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

God has been doing some amazing work in my life lately. I am definitely in the middle of one of those amazing times during your walk with the Lord where you can just feel Him, sense Him working and hear Him speaking to your soul in so many ways. My friend and I are leading a womens' Bible study Thursday evenings and the book we are studying couldn't have come at a better time for me personally. I have been brought to tears while preparing study materials more than once, and I am not one who cries easily. The way God spoke to me today sent chills and warmth through my body at the same time. One of our studies coming up will be on dealing with loss and asking God "Why". Last year me and my family went through some major loss in several different areas of life and let me tell you, "Why" was all I asked, almost with every breath I took. I went through a roller coaster of emotions, shock, anger, sadness, despair, hope, thankfulness, and then back to shock. Now I am in the healing period of my life. I can feel God healing the deep wounds the loss left me with and this study was exactly what I needed. There was a section the book we are reading "Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl" that says this..."Trying to come to grips with the fact that God could have prevented my deep grief but didn't is a bit like trying to catch the wind and turn it into something visible. It's an answer we could chase our whole lives and never get. And sometimes this chase simply wears people out. They turn and walk away, whispering,'I tried, God, but You didn't work for me. You hurt my feelings and I dont' want anything to do with you anymore.'...It's understandable really. We are told from an early age that God can do anything and we've read stories about Jesus helping people. But how do we process such beliefs in the face of loss? Whether the loss of an opportunity, the loss of a relationship, the loss of ones health, or the loss of a loved one, the loss of any kind hurts. We too often ask the wrong questions: Why did this happen? Why didn't you stop this God? Why were my prayers not answered? Why? Asking why is perfectly normal. Asking why isn't unspiritual. However if asking this question pushes us farther from God rather than drawing us closer to Him, it is the wrong question...We can't see the full scope of the situation like God can; therefore we must acknowledge that his thoughts are more complete and that he is more capable of accurately discerning what is best in every circumstance. if asking the why question doesn't offer hope, what will? The "what " question. In other words: Now that this has happened what am I supposed to do with it?"

As I was reading this I remembered that Jonathan, my husband, had a note card with something written his mother had written on it that was to this effect and by some miracle (God!) I knew exactly where that note card was! See Jon's mom passed away very suddenly last June. She was only 59 and this sudden loss turned our families world upside down. I was very close to my mother in law and she was a wonderful Godly woman with years worth of Godly Biblical wisdom that she shared with anyone who was in need. I have missed those long conversations about God and His Word. I quickly found the note card with her handwritten words and this is what it read
"We ask God many questions. The right one is "What do you want, God?" "What does God want for this area?" "Don't focus on circumstances, focus on God, what does he want?" I sit here with tears of joy as I write these words. God is still using my mother in law! She may have written this for herself at some point but I know God meant this for me, right here, right now on March 22, 2010, at a time when I would need it most! It's amazing how I am here dealing with losing her, being healed inwardly by the Lord, and yet he still uses the one I am asking "Why" about to help heal my soul! If that doesn't give you "Godbumps" I dont' know what will!