Air of Change

I feel the air of change blowing all around me. Not bad changes, but significant changes and I really don't handle change well at all.
Maybe it has something to do with my son finishing preschool today, which means only 2 and a half months until he is officially in kindergarten, taking him away from me for 5 days a week. No more playgroups, no more play dates, no more random excursions during the day time, no more lunches with both my little ones. Real school brings about more responsibility, more activities, less free play time, and most of all less simplicity. I have adored, cherished and reveled in simple little childhood days of nothing but play with my first born. I remember hearing about mothers who cried when their children went to kindergarten, and I thought that was silly. I've cried several times about his graduating preschool...who's the silly one now?! I am not ready, and don't think I ever will be ready for these precious carefree days to end. Yes I still have my second born, my 2 and half year old princess that I get to do these things with, but those days with my first born are over. Yes we plan to expand our family at some point by one more precious little one, but those little days with my first born are over. Yes I still have summers, winter break and spring break with him, but he is going to be thrust into a world where I am not in control, and cannot see what he is doing or what's happening to him. Am I the only mother who has ever felt this way? Well perhaps not, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Then there is the tiny little matter of us putting our house on the market this summer. We've never sold a home and the last and only time we've moved was from our one bedroom apartment into this house when I found out I was pregnant with that aforementioned first born child back in July 2004, nearly 6 years ago. Basically all our married life and definitely all our children's lives have been here in this small but cozy home. A home filled with memories and priceless moments I will never forget.
Another little change is it seems a lot of my friends lives are taking on new aspects, making them busier and less available. I've so very much enjoyed these regular random visits with my friends and our children over the past 6 years. I take for granted that I get to see my best friends many times throughout the week. It's such a blessing and one for which I will always be thankful. God has brought such amazing friends into my life over these years and I feel somehow that I won't see them as often now that everyone's lives are getting busier. I don't want to lose touch. I want to remain close with these people that mean so much to me. I don't like such hectic schedules. It doesn't leave time for quality in relationships. I treasure quality and depth in relationships. I fear all these changes will change my relationships that I've worked hard to maintain and build and not having siblings has made these friendships all the more special to me.
I feel Jon's job is going to change...for the better this time (Praise the Lord) but with that kind of change means change for our family. Hopefully this will be a great change and he will get better hours so he will be with us more often and then maybe I won't feel so frightened by all this change!
So if I seem a little down, or emotional, or far away, it's nothing personal, I'm just dealing with change and I don't handle change very well! I know in a year I'll look back and realize we have settled into a new routine of life and new chapter in life and it will be good, maybe even better than this chapter has been. Yes I will hold to that thought, that I will look back and see that all these changes were for the good and the new routines we are about to build will be even better than the first routines our family developed! Change...maybe it's not such a wretched thing after all?!